this is the first day of my life

Well, more correctly, that was almost 29 years ago, but I feel a newness about myself today. Sometimes seeing yourself through the eyes of another person can do that...and over the past four months that has slowly opened my own vision of myself, and cleared away a lot of self-deprication. Maybe I have let other people define me too much in my life...but last night, I walked into my condo after work, only to discover a sweet little note on my pillow from C...and then this morning, found another on my mirror that I hadn't discovered the previous night...Then, there were the text messages that were the first things I saw when I opened my eyes from sleep...

I feel so blessed and so lucky after thinking a truly beautiful relationship was just a pipe-dream for me. I have backed down and curled up within myself after a certain point in every previous relationship...Just thinking about the rest of my life with one individual subconciously made my skin crawl and my stomach turn in knots...but just the idea and possibility of being with C forever brings nothing but warmth to my heart and a huge smile to my face. Never has the momentum of falling in love and being happy lasted this long for me. (Seriously, WHO was I dating in the past?!?!) As C put it, 'It is amazing how [he shows] me more than what I ever thought [those] three words could be!'

I finally broke down, got on my knees and begged God for help...and for the first time in my life I completely surrendered control...I asked God for a man like my father, a man who would be the spiritual leader of my future family, someone with a kind heart, a romantic, someone who would love me as much as I loved him... and lo and behold, God sent me everything I had requested. Every. Single. Thing. And even more. Things I didn't even know to pray for. Now, if THAT is not proof of the power of prayer, I don't know what possibly could be.

C challenges me to be a better person everyday, and I love him for that. Oh so very much. If this is just four months into our journey, I can't even begin to imagine what God has in store for my future. And I am beyond excited about that.